25 Murphy’s Laws Applicable to A Vet Student

The first blog post is supposed to explain to readers why I am writing this blog. I want everyone to know the challenges an average vet student faces and how frustrating they can be. I want everyone to know what we do each day when we go to intern, or when we work, or in college as well as have other vet students that I have never met before to know that we are all pretty much sailing in the same boat. I want people to understand that for most of us this is a career choice made out of a great deal of passion. And that we have to study as much as, if not more, than the human medicine students; and deserve as much respect. I also didn’t want the money and time I spent on my Creative Writing diploma to go to waste.

But before I can begin telling stories, or start debating with myself, I have written down a few ground rules that apply to each and every Vet Student. These are our very own Murphy’s laws, and believe me- we have all been on the wrong side of these at some point in time.

1. If the dog’s butt is within range or you to inject it, so is your arm within range for it to bite you.
2. Your lab-coat is bound to get poop on it the day you wash and iron it.
3. If the lab-coat is newly bought, it will probably get lost, or stolen.
4. You will be given the cow that kicks during the per-rectal examination.
5. You will cause the kicking cow to bleed a little, probably not feel anything and get a zero in your per-rectal examination.
6. You will step in dung the day you courageously wear your new shoes.
7. The exam paper will have questions which have previously never been asked before, ever.
8. The exam paper will have 75% questions from the topics that you decided not to study, probably because they have never been asked before.
9. The people sitting on either side of you in the viva exam will be asked questions you know the answers to, but you will probably be asked, ‘Who was the first person to try goat milk?’
10. You will always score lesser in the annual examination and the others will always score more.
11. The day you plan to go home early and sleep because you are tired, there WILL be an interesting emergency surgery which you cannot miss.
12. The day you take a holiday from college, you will miss five important surgeries along with a possible delivery where everyone will click pictures with the new born puppies.
13. The day you don’t go to clinic, the other student that isn’t as regular as you will go and get to assist an important procedure.
14. Anything you do can get you in trouble, including nothing.
15. There are seven types of shocks, you will always forget one.
16. No one can ever study every single worm in parasitology. At some point of time you will ask the question,”Why does each worm have to be studied if the treatment for all is the same?”
    This usually ensures failure.
17. I don’t know which idiot said A Barking Dog Doesn’t bite. All dogs bite.
18. You will always be called to hold the cat that wants to gouge out your eyes.
19. Teamwork is essential. It gives the main doctor someone else to blame.
20. The vague symptom you have been ignoring, will turn out to be the main one.
21. You will never be able to hear the murmur, but you will always pretend you did.
22. The client will always think their whining, barking, biting, stupid little toy dog is “special”. You will never think so.
23. Animals are more human than you think they are. Cats can be very big assholes. You will still not move when they are asleep on the itchy part of your leg.
24. Friendly cats are going to bite you the second you become comfortable with them.
25. The patients you want to touch the most, will be the biggest cowards.

There is one rule that became applicable to me when I was growing up.
I became allergic to the animal that I loved the most- Cats. And allergic I remain.

-Sanika Pandya